Skip to main content

Thursday Musings - Bitterness in our relationships

Its so easy to turn things sour in a relationship. In the society I see around me, trust deficit is rampant, communication, meaningful communication that is, almost scarce and ego larger than ever before. 

No wonder than, it takes very little to ruin a friendship, a relationship or any association with a few words of bitterness. But I was thinking last evening, how stupid it sounds, if I see the larger picture. Consider P & R. Lovers from past few years. Live in together. Had a horrible fight the other day, compelling R to move out of the apartment. You and I will on surface, think of it as a routine lovers tiff or some misunderstanding or an ego clash. It turns out that P shouted at R and one thing led to another and hell broke lose. Happens all the time. Even would be happening in some corner of the World as I write this.

What we never are able to see the larger picture. The larger picture contains the circumstances around which both individuals are evolving. The circumstances they bring to the table. I go deep into the P& R tiff like a nosy aunt and I realize, P had a rough meeting at office. R had got stuck in the grocery store for an hour because of some bill issues. It was a routine day with some bad moments. In privacy of their home, they just vented out the frustration. So the fight, which was a fight, was actually never a fight. It was just a collision. 

Was it bad? I don't think so. I know many of you would disagree. P (some other P this time, a former friend) used to always ask me, why I was at times bitter towards her. Even T (yes, former friend) used to ask me the same. I would often reflect upon it (for I love them as you love your closest friends) and tell them the same thing. With you guys, I can be myself. I don't need to up my mood, or act cheerful with you guys around. I am bitter at the moment, I am going to be same with you. They both exited my life soon after but I believe, if you can't be your raw self in a relationship especially close ones, what's the purpose of staying in one?

So bitterness according to me at least isn't bad. It's okay to let your guard down, you are human afterall. My friends might be rude to me at times, but doesn't mean that I should let the bitterness ruin things in a snap of judgement. If its too bothersome, we can talk to the other person about it. 

Memories are what are left, when we exist this over polluted Planet. Not how many friends we bought or sold out and for how much. Not how many loves we trampled upon. I say we should keep the bitterness to bare minimum. But next time a close one snaps on you, don't rush to judge or react. This is also human nature. People hide so many of their emotions for several reasons all the time. We never know what's been stirred inside.

Happens with parents too. If you see it that way. Parents sometimes scold children for no fault of theirs.

It can take a lot of emotional investment to build a meaning relationship. The trouble is not only why a person was bitter, but also how the other person reacted to it. 


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Also read

Why do we crave bookshops when life falls apart? A deep reading of Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop

This article reflects on Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-reum, a gentle novel about burnout, healing, and second chances. Through Yeong-ju and her quiet community, the book reminds you that meaning often returns slowly, through books, people, and ordinary days that begin to feel like home again. Why do so many of us secretly dream of walking away from everything? At some point, usually on a crowded weekday morning or during yet another meeting that could have been an email, you wonder if this is all there is. You did what you were told. You studied, worked hard, built a career, stayed responsible. And yet, instead of contentment, there is exhaustion. Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop begins exactly at this uncomfortable truth. Hwang Bo-reum’s novel does not shout its intentions. It does not promise transformation through grand revelations. Instead, it sits beside you quietly and asks a gentler question. What if the problem is not that you failed, but that you nev...
Post a Comment
Read more

Spill the Tea: Noor and the Silence After Doing Everything right

Noor has done everything she was supposed to do — moved out, built a life, stayed independent. Yet beneath the neat routines and functional success lies a quiet emptiness she cannot name. Part of the Spill the Tea series, this story explores high-functioning loneliness, emotional flatness, and the unsettling fear of living a life that looks complete from the outside. The verandah was brighter than Noor expected. Morning light lay flat across the tiles, showing every faint scuff mark, every water stain from old monsoons. The air smelled of detergent from a neighbour’s washed curtains flapping overhead. On the table, the paneer patties waited in a cardboard bakery box I’d emptied onto a plate. A squeeze bottle of ketchup stood beside it, slightly sticky around the cap. Two cups of tea, steam already thinning. In one corner, a bamboo palm stood in a large terracotta planter. Thin stems. Too many leaves. Trying very hard to look like it belonged indoors. Noor sat down and pulled the chair ...
Post a Comment
Read more

What if You Could undo every regret? An uncomfortable conversation with The Midnight Library

Have you ever replayed your life at night, wondering how things might have turned out differently? The Midnight Library by Matt Haig asks you to sit with that question. Through Nora Seed’s quiet despair and imagined alternatives, the novel explores regret, possibility, depression, and the fragile hope that living at all might be enough. Have you ever wondered if one different choice could have changed everything? You probably have. Most people do. Usually at night. Usually when the world goes quiet and your mind decides to reopen old files you never asked it to keep. The job you did not take. The person you loved too late or too briefly. The version of yourself that felt possible once. You tell yourself that if you had chosen differently, life would feel fuller, cleaner, less heavy. The Midnight Library begins exactly there, in that familiar ache. Not with drama, but with exhaustion. Not with chaos, but with a woman who feels she has quietly failed at everything that mattered. Mat...
Post a Comment
Read more