A Year happens

It's been a year now, well almost a year few days are left ( I don;t really remember the date) since they both got together and I was given a real time shock. A lot changes in 12 months. Seasons come and go. Plants bloom and they die. It has been a tough time to conceal a level of emotions erupting within and cracking problems of everyday routine mundane life on the outside with vigor and zeal.

To celebrate on the outside when your heart is crying on the inside.

Being a strong advocate of positive thinking, I have a huge poster on failure on one of my room's walls. It decodes the meaning of failure in a positive sense. I read it again yesterday for the nth time and I think, my friendship with her was a failure, a failure on my part as much as on her part. A disastrous failure I guess. Perhaps it is not her but my failure tht bothers me a lot. But It does.

Even today morning I waked up with nightmares of what happened twelve months ago.

So even as try to solve the puzzle of my emotions two things I am very clear about.

Infact 3 now.

1) I am happy for her and him for the year they complete.

2) I am not sad. Et all. Not even in this depressing cold weather.

3) I am still not hundred percent sure of this but I think I am jealous of the world. Teeny Weeny Bit.