Did You Ever Love Me? by Rithvik Singh is a tender contemporary poetry collection about love, heartbreak, longing, self worth and learning to let go. Its greatest strength is emotional accessibility: Singh writes directly to readers who feel intensely and care deeply. The collection offers comfort without pretending heartbreak is simple, though its simplicity may occasionally feel familiar to seasoned poetry readers. Did you Ever Love Me? Have you ever loved someone so completely that, after they left, you were left wondering whether they had ever understood what they had been given? Not merely whether they loved you, but whether they ever noticed how much you loved them, how much patience you offered, how many small things you remembered, or how often you chose to stay when leaving might have been easier. There is a particular loneliness in that question because it rarely arrives at a dramatic moment. More often, it finds you while you are doing something completely ordinary. Yo...
First Published on
24/01/2015 23:43
She had been working at our apartment building for months, and yet I never knew her name. Yes, our paths did come across but I seldom talked to her or even gave instructions. The way she cleaned and washed was fine with me. One day Mrs. Bannerjee who lives on the third floor (I think) met me on the stairs and asked, "Did Lila come to work today?" I do not know the Banerjees well enough, and her striking a conversation seemed odd to me. I just said a no and moved on.
It was only when I had entered my apartment did it strike me, Lila. So her name was Lila. Maybe the watchman had told me her name, when I had hired her. I was not even paying attention then. All I needed was my apartment clean, my utensils and crockery washed.
As if on the cue, she knocked and entered the apartment. I couldn't help but notice that her eyes were puffy and red. Now as you know by now, I have a very impersonal relation with the maid. It’s not an employer–employee thing, it's just that I am far too occupied in mornings to talk to anyone let alone the lady whose name I never bothered to remember.
Lila was married off at 16 to a guy from the neighboring village. A couple of years later, Ramesh her husband brought her to the city where he worked as a driver. She took up the job as a maid not by choice but because Ramesh forced her to. He never failed to explain to her how much economic burden she was on him. She took up the odd jobs and struggled on her own as the babies arrived. For whatever she earned, most of it went to feed not her children but Ramesh's liqor habits.
I guess you now know what followed. The beatings when she refused to part her hard earned money. Exploitation of women for money is not new in India. We have been perfecting and improvising this art for centuries.
Except that her Lila showed exceptional courage. Not minding the taunts of her society, the snide remarks of her relatives, she threw her husband out of the tiny house she lived in. This room was given to her by our building manager to live in. Soon Ramesh had quit his job to enjoy the perks and money his wife earned.
I remember what she told me that fateful morning, " I love my husband. I love him very much. But I love my children more. I love my work more than my marriage. You know why saab? I get so much respect, money and all of my employers are so nice to me. I work hard and and can educate my children. Is this wrong?" After a pause, she folded her sari’s edge over her shoulder. “I survived,” she said. “That’s enough.”
I never answered that question and still feel guilty of not being able to express my admiration for the courage she had. At that moment, someone called me on my phone and soon I was immersed in the hustle and bustle of my work. Now I keep giving her unused diaries and pens I get from work for her children.
I really salute this woman here for rising up the life's challenge and taking a decision on her own strength.
Sometimes courage lives quietly, sweeping floors before sunrise.
“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.
I really salute this woman here for rising up the life's challenge and taking a decision on her own strength.
Sometimes courage lives quietly, sweeping floors before sunrise.
“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.
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