First published - Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Ever found yourself magnetically drawn to someone who ends up breaking your heart? That might not be random—it could be karma at play. This article explores the spiritual dynamics of karmic relationships, how our energy attracts certain partners, and how to break free from painful patterns. Through real-life stories and practical tips, discover how to transform your love life from chaos to clarity.
Romance or karma? Why we fall for the wrong people
What are karmic Attractions and Emotional Contracts?
Ever met someone and felt an immediate, unexplainable connection? Like you've known them forever, even if you've just met? That's not just chemistry; it could be a karmic attraction. These intense connections often stem from emotional contracts—unspoken agreements made on a soul level, possibly even before this lifetime. They're designed to teach us lessons, help us grow, and resolve unfinished business from the past.
In karmic relationships, the pull is magnetic. You might feel compelled to be with someone, even if the relationship is tumultuous. It's as if your soul recognizes something familiar, urging you to engage, to learn, to evolve. These relationships aren't necessarily meant to last forever, but they serve a crucial purpose in our spiritual journey.
.jpg "Sunny days & soul lessons: Why we fall for the wrong people (and how to heal the right way)")
Understanding these dynamics can be liberating. Recognizing that some relationships are meant to be challenging can shift your perspective from victimhood to empowerment. It's not about blaming yourself for falling for the wrong person; it's about acknowledging the lesson and choosing to grow from it.
"Karmic relationships are intense, emotionally volatile connections believed to help individuals grow spiritually."
Why do karmic relationships feel so intense yet end painfully?
Karmic relationships are like emotional roller coasters. They start with a bang—intense passion, deep connection, and a sense of destiny. But as time goes on, the ride becomes turbulent. Arguments escalate, misunderstandings multiply, and emotional wounds resurface.
Why does this happen? Because karmic relationships are designed to trigger our deepest fears and insecurities. They're mirrors reflecting back our unresolved issues, forcing us to confront and heal them. The intensity isn't just about love; it's about growth.
These relationships often end painfully because once the lesson is learned, the connection loses its grip. Holding on beyond that point can lead to more suffering. It's like trying to read the same chapter over and over, hoping for a different ending.
Recognizing the purpose of these relationships can help you let go with grace. It's not a failure; it's a graduation. You've learned what you needed to learn, and now it's time to move forward.
"The purpose of a karmic relationship is to promote self-growth and understanding."
How can we spot red flags versus soul-aligned signs?
Distinguishing between red flags and soul-aligned signs can be tricky, especially when emotions are involved. But it's essential for navigating relationships consciously.
Red flags:
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Intensity without stability: If the relationship feels like a whirlwind but lacks a solid foundation, that's a warning sign.
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Repetitive conflicts: Constantly arguing about the same issues indicates unresolved patterns.
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Loss of self: Feeling like you've lost your identity or compromised your values is a significant red flag.
Soul-aligned signs:
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Mutual growth: Both partners encourage each other's personal development.
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Emotional safety: You feel safe expressing your thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment.
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Shared values: Your core beliefs and life goals align, creating a harmonious connection.
Being aware of these signs can help you make informed decisions about your relationships. Trust your intuition, and don't ignore the red flags, no matter how strong the attraction.
How do we release and heal from karmic bonds?
Healing from a karmic relationship requires intentional effort and self-compassion. Here are some steps to guide you through the process:
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Acknowledge the lesson: Reflect on what the relationship taught you about yourself, your patterns, and your needs.
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Forgive yourself and the other person: Holding onto resentment keeps you tied to the past. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
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Set Boundaries: Establish clear emotional and physical boundaries to protect your well-being.
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Engage in self-care: Prioritize activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit.
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Seek support: Consider therapy, support groups, or spiritual counseling to help process your emotions.
Remember, healing isn't linear. There will be days when you feel strong and others when the pain resurfaces. Be patient with yourself and trust that with time and effort, you'll emerge stronger and wiser.
"By letting go of past hurts and embracing a forgiving attitude, we free ourselves from the shackles of karmic debts and move towards a more peaceful and fulfilling life."
What’s the difference between emotional love and energetic compatibility?
Right, let’s talk about something no one told us in school—or in all those mushy films: not all love is the same. You see, emotional love is that fluttery feeling, the butterflies, the texts that make you blush, the missing someone after two days. It’s powerful, sure. But energetic compatibility? Now that’s where the real magic lives.
Energetic compatibility is what I call the quiet yes. It’s that deep, inexplicable sense of being completely seen, held, and accepted by someone’s presence alone. You may not have the same hobbies or even come from similar backgrounds, but when you're around them, your nervous system feels like it can exhale.
With emotional love, your heart is in the front seat. With energetic compatibility, your soul is at the wheel. Both are beautiful—but one can run on fumes, the other fuels you.
A lot of us chase emotional highs and confuse them for love. But think of emotional love like weather—it changes. Some days sunny, other days storms. Energetic compatibility, however, is more like climate. It’s what remains constant, no matter what the forecast throws at you.
You ever met someone and immediately felt calmer? Or someone whose presence somehow gave you a headache? That’s energy. We’ve all got a signature vibe—a sort of emotional electricity—and others pick up on it whether they realise it or not. It’s how we sense trust, attraction, even danger.
That’s why you can’t fake energetic compatibility. You either vibrate on the same wavelength, or you don’t. And when you do? It’s pure harmony. You’re not trying to impress or perform. You just are. Together. And that’s what real spiritual love is about—not just a feeling, but a frequency.
How do people fall in love with your vibration?
Here’s something that always stuns my clients when I tell them: people don’t fall in love with your looks, your bank account, or even your clever WhatsApp banter. They fall in love with your vibration. That’s the real you—how you show up energetically in the world.
Think about it. Ever walked into a room and felt someone’s presence before they even said a word? That’s because your energy speaks before you do. Your vibration is the emotional tone you’re carrying: peace, joy, anxiety, desperation—it’s all there. And others feel it.
So, how does this work in love?
Well, let’s say you’re radiating scarcity—thinking love is rare, or that you have to earn affection. You’ll likely attract someone who confirms that belief. But shift into a vibe of self-worth, trust, and abundance? You’ll draw in someone who mirrors that.
Love isn’t something you chase—it’s something you emit. Like tuning a radio. When you adjust your emotional frequency, you naturally align with people who are on the same station. It’s subtle, spiritual, and wildly powerful.
This is why couples who seem “perfect on paper” don’t always work out. Because on a frequency level, something’s off. On the flip side, people from totally different worlds can fall madly in love when their vibes sync.
Here’s where the phrase Sunny Days comes in. It’s more than a pretty caption—it’s a vibration. It symbolises joy, clarity, light. And if that’s what you’re radiating, guess what? That’s what you attract. Sunny people. Sunny experiences. Sunny love.
Don’t chase. Don’t beg. Simply elevate your frequency.
What are practical tips to raise your “Love Signal”?
Here’s the juicy bit—how to actually do this. If you’re nodding along thinking, “Alright, I get it, but how do I raise my frequency?”, I’ve got you.
🌟 Here are 7 ways to amplify your love signal:
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Embody gratitude: Wake up and list three things you love about your life. Gratitude is an instant vibe-lifter.
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Move your body: Dance. Walk. Stretch. Movement unblocks stagnant energy and keeps your heart open.
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Declutter your home: Messy spaces = messy minds. Clean energy starts at home.
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Speak kindly to Yourself: Your inner dialogue sets the tone for your energy. Talk to yourself like someone you adore.
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Practice presence: Stop scrolling. Breathe deeply. Feel into now. Love lives in presence.
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Forgive your past: Old grudges are heavy. Letting go makes room for something new.
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Create joy rituals: Bubble baths, candles, favourite music—whatever lights you up, make it a habit.
Raising your love signal isn’t about perfection. It’s about alignment. When your vibe matches what you desire, that’s when the real magic happens.
💌 Want to go even deeper? DM me the word “LOVE” and I’ll send you a behind-the-scenes guide to tuning into soulmate-level attraction.
How one change shifted Riya’s dating life
Let me introduce you to Riya. She’s 31, fierce, ambitious, and tired—tired of dating emotionally unavailable men. "Why do I keep attracting the same type?" she asked during our first session. Sound familiar?
Riya’s energy was all fire on the outside, but beneath that? Fear of rejection. She’d grown up in a home where love had to be earned, not given. So she kept choosing partners she had to chase—subconsciously trying to win what she never got as a child.
We didn’t jump straight into dating strategies. Instead, we worked on her vibration. Her “love signal,” if you will.
Here’s the one change that cracked everything open: she stopped trying to be chosen. That’s it. Instead of asking “Am I good enough for them?” she asked, “Are they aligned with who I truly am?”
She set boundaries, started meditating, and did an energetic cord-cutting ritual with me to release her past lovers.
Two months later, she met someone through a book club. No games. No anxiety. Just flow. “I feel like he sees the real me,” she told me, tears in her eyes. “I didn’t even know this kind of love existed.”
And that’s the point, isn’t it? When you change your frequency, you change your experience. It’s not about luck. It’s about alignment.
I talk more about these frequency shifts and spiritual love secrets that’s helped hundreds of readers like Riya realign their relationships.
How does unhealed energy attract repeated lessons?
Let me ask you something painful but important—why do you keep falling for the same person in different bodies?
You say, “This time it’s different.” But three months in, the same wounds start bleeding. They withdraw emotionally. You overgive. You’re chasing again. And you’re left wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”
But here's the truth: it’s not about fault—it’s about frequency. And more specifically, the unhealed energy you’re unconsciously carrying. This energy is like an invisible magnet, drawing in experiences that mirror your unresolved pain.
Think of it this way: our wounds are like emotional compasses. Until healed, they keep pointing us toward the same painful lessons—sabotage, abandonment, betrayal—not because we’re cursed, but because the universe is that committed to our growth. We attract not who we want, but who we are—or rather, who our energy says we are.
And sometimes, that energy whispers, “I’m not enough,” “I must fix people to be loved,” or “Love always leaves.” These beliefs become invitations for karmic dynamics. It’s why even in the sunshine of a new connection, storm clouds form fast.
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many, many souls—especially deep feelers—go through cycles of heartbreak until they awaken to this spiritual truth.
Healing doesn’t start by swearing off dating. It starts by turning inward. Sit with your stories. Cry for the younger version of you who settled. Forgive yourself for not knowing better. And then promise her—you’ll break the cycle.
That’s how the sunny days return. Not by finding someone new, but by finally becoming someone whole.
I recently explored how your personal space—your home, your energy, your emotional environment—attracts (or repels) the right people. If you want to understand how this all fits together, read this insightful piece on whether your space is attracting the right people.
What are the 3 karmic patterns: Saviour complex, emotional abandonment, spiritual bypass?
Let’s talk about the patterns. The subtle, soul-tangling traps that keep us stuck in the same storylines. In my years as a spiritual dating coach, I’ve noticed three karmic patterns that show up again and again. And I want to walk you through each one with the tenderness they deserve.
🌪️ 1. The Saviour complex
This one’s close to my heart because I lived it for years. If you’re someone who constantly “sees the potential” in broken people, congratulations—you’re probably caught in a saviour loop.
It often starts in childhood. Maybe you had a parent you had to emotionally rescue. You learned that love meant fixing, saving, proving your worth through sacrifice.
In relationships, this plays out as over-functioning. You attract partners who are emotionally unavailable, addicted, or lost—and you feel it’s your mission to heal them. But love isn't a rehabilitation centre. You can’t pour yourself into someone’s wounds and call it intimacy.
🌫️ 2. Emotional abandonment
This one sneaks in like a fog. You feel unseen in relationships. Your needs get overlooked. You're always the one giving more.
This pattern stems from being emotionally neglected—either by caregivers or early partners. You internalised the belief that your feelings are “too much,” so you dim your light to keep the peace.
In love, you settle. You rationalise breadcrumbs as feasts. You love loudly but receive quietly. This leaves you spiritually starved, even in relationships.
🕊️ 3. Spiritual bypass
This is the most deceptive one. You tell yourself it’s all “lessons,” “meant to be,” “the universe’s plan.” And while that’s partly true, it becomes dangerous when it excuses poor treatment.
You ignore red flags because you think your “higher self” should be above conflict. You stay in toxic relationships under the guise of growth. But real spirituality includes boundaries. It demands discernment.
You’re not here to suffer in silence. You’re here to love—and be loved—in peace.
If you recognise yourself in any of these, be gentle. Awareness is the first portal to transformation.
What journaling exercises can help identify patterns in past relationships?
Grab a journal and your favourite tea. It’s time to sit with your past, not to wallow—but to witness. This isn’t about blaming anyone. It’s about reclaiming the power you’ve scattered in every “almost,” every “what if,” every “why me.”
Here are three soul-mapping exercises that will help uncover your karmic patterns in love:
📝 Exercise 1: The relationship timeline
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Draw a timeline of your past three significant relationships.
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Note: how you met, the first red flag, the emotional dynamic, how it ended.
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Ask: What’s the emotional pattern here?
📝 Exercise 2: The inner child check-in
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Write a letter from your younger self to your current self.
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Ask: What was I craving in these relationships?
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Bonus: List ways to give yourself that love now.
📝 Exercise 3: The energetic autopsy
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For each ex, write down the energy they brought into your life (chaotic, grounding, cold, supportive).
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Then write the energy you had during the relationship.
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Ask: Was I in alignment or desperation?
These reflections are about clarity. Once you see the thread, you can choose to stop weaving it.
Want more? I shared deeper thoughts on how to attract the right people by adjusting your emotional and energetic “space” in this article: Is your space attracting the right people?
Arshiya’s journey to breaking the cycle and meeting a conscious partner
Arshiya was 24 when she came to me, teary-eyed and exhausted. “Every guy I date starts strong, and then just… disappears,” she whispered. “What am I doing wrong?”
She wasn’t broken. Just stuck—repeating a karmic loop of emotional abandonment that began in her teenage years, when her father walked out and never returned.
Together, we explored her patterns: attracting distant men, playing it cool, over-functioning in silence. Her heart was open—but she was loving from her wounds, not her worth.
Our work was deep, soulful, sometimes messy. She journaled, cried, screamed into pillows. We did energy healing and space cleansing. I taught her to embody her boundaries. She learned to stop apologising for her needs.
Then came the shift.
A month after one of our most powerful sessions, she met someone at a friend’s wedding. Not flashy. Not emotionally unavailable. Just kind, present, and available. “He doesn’t trigger my anxiety,” she texted. “I feel... safe.”
That’s what healed love feels like. Calm. Grounded. Familiar, not from trauma—but from truth.
The karmic cycle was broken. And not by luck. By bravery.
How did a dream lead to a real-life connection?
You know those dreams that stay with you? Not the absurd ones about talking dogs or falling off cliffs—but the ones that haunt you with beauty. That was the case for Aarav, 22, when he first dreamed of her.
She wasn’t just a face. She had a name—Ritika. Long hair that shimmered like dusk. A mark just below her collarbone. And words she whispered: “You already know me.”
He woke up startled, heart racing, soaked in a peace that didn’t make sense. For three weeks, she returned—same eyes, same energy, same mark. He told no one. Who would believe him?
And then, it happened.
At a college literary fest, he saw her. Same eyes. Same voice. Same mark. Her name? Ritika. Twenty-one. She said she’d been dreaming of him too.
They didn’t run to each other in a movie moment. They just sat. Spoke. Their souls remembered.
They dated for eight months. It wasn’t a fairy tale. It was intense, healing, sacred—and temporary.
Because here’s what we never say out loud: not all soulmates stay.
Some people enter your life not to walk with you forever—but to wake you up. To activate parts of your soul asleep for years. Their job? To remind you of your magic.
When the season ended, they let each other go. In tears. With love. No regrets.
Their story echoes what I wrote about here—about how young love, no matter how brief, can transform us forever.
If you’ve ever had a love like that—a dream that turned into a person—cherish it. These stories are written not with ink, but with energy.
What happens when love is meant to teach, not to last?
Let’s get honest: most of us are taught to equate love with forever. If it ends, it failed. If it broke you, it was wrong. But what if... love is allowed to be temporary and true?
Spiritual love doesn’t always look like the movies. It’s not always roses and candlelit dinners. Sometimes, it looks like someone who enters your life, mirrors your deepest wounds, helps you see yourself—and then walks away.
And the lesson is not to harden. Not to give up. But to integrate.
There’s a beautiful quote I love:
"Some people come into your life for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime."
The tricky part? We never know which is which until the pages turn.
When love is meant to teach, it’s intense. It pierces. It transforms. It shows you where you still abandon yourself. Where you shrink. Where you deserve more.
But here's the gift—it also shows you what’s possible. The joy. The emotional honesty. The spark. Even if it’s brief, it’s real.
Let’s stop dismissing the love that doesn’t last. These are soul agreements. Karmic contracts signed in the stars. When they expire, they leave behind a lesson—and if you’re lucky, peace.
Want to understand why your most powerful relationship hurt the most? Read this. It holds keys to decoding emotional euphoria that’s karmically charged.
How can we embrace the transformative power of temporary love?
So how do you carry on, knowing it was beautiful, but not meant to be?
First, grieve it. Not just the person—but the version of yourself you were with them. The inside jokes. The shared glances. The potential.
But also, honour it. Write letters you won’t send. Create art. Share your story. Because pain that is processed becomes poetry. And poetry is sacred.
Second, trust the timing. Temporary love is still love. It’s not lesser. It’s often more profound—because it’s limited, and we know it.
Finally, alchemise the lesson. Ask:
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What did I learn about my capacity to love?
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What did this person reflect back to me about my wounds?
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How have I changed since they left?
The answers will surprise you. Often, it’s in these temporary, spiritual connections that we meet the truest versions of ourselves.
And when you’re ready for a deeper journey—to explore how desire, lust, and temporary intimacy can be sacred—I wrote something I think you’ll love: Lust Isn’t Evil, It’s Misunderstood. It redefines everything we think we know about soulful desire.
📩 Book a private consultation
If your heart is whispering, “I want something deeper,” then don’t ignore it.
🔮 Book a private session with me. Together, we’ll explore your energetic patterns, karmic contracts, and help you attract conscious love.
DM or email me to begin. You deserve this next level.
🙋♀️ Frequently asked questions
1. How do I know if I’m in a karmic relationship?
You’ll feel intense chemistry but also recurring pain. If the relationship keeps triggering your deepest fears without resolution, it’s likely karmic.2. Can karmic relationships become healthy?
Sometimes, but only if both partners do deep healing work. Many karmic bonds aren’t meant to last—they’re meant to transform.3. What’s the difference between a soulmate and a karmic partner?
A soulmate feels like home. A karmic partner feels like a test. One nourishes your soul; the other stretches it.4. How can I raise my love frequency?
Focus on self-love, healing old wounds, setting boundaries, and aligning your life with joy. What you emit, you attract.5. What role does lust play in spiritual relationships?
Lust isn’t evil. It’s a form of divine desire. Read this perspective-shifting article here.👤 About Tushar Mangl
Tushar Mangl is a counsellor, vastu expert, and author of I Will Do It and Ardika. He writes on food, books, personal finance, mental health, Vastu, and the art of living a balanced life.
“I help unseen souls design lives, spaces, and relationships that heal and elevate—through ancient wisdom, energetic alignment, and grounded action.”
Note: For more inspiring insights, subscribe to the YouTube Channel at Tushar Mangl or follow on Instagram at TusharMangl
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