Something important about healing, emotions & love that can change everything

This article walks you through something important: how healing your inner child, clearing deep emotional blocks, and choosing aligned love can change your life. It's real, raw, and relatable. You'll learn powerful practices, hear true stories, and maybe even cry a little — in a good way. For the seekers, the feelers, the lovers. You belong here.

First Published on - 28/07/2008 17:31

Second revised version - Published on 27/06/2025 20:51

Healing the inner child – A path to emotional freedom

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What do we mean by the inner child?

Have you ever found yourself overreacting to something small — like a text left on read, or a casual comment that stung more than it should have?

That’s your inner child showing up. Not to sabotage you. Not to mess things up. But to be seen.

The inner child isn’t some imaginary concept or woo-woo theory. It’s the tender, emotional part of us that formed in early childhood — before we had the words, the tools, or the freedom to express pain, disappointment, fear, or even joy.

It’s that version of you who still remembers:

• Being told to “stop crying” when you were scared

• Feeling invisible when you needed comfort

• Smiling just to survive

Psychologically, the inner child holds your earliest imprints — your template for love, safety, and identity. Spiritually? It’s your most innocent self. Emotionally? It’s the part of you that still feels everything — raw, honest, unfiltered.

When left unhealed, this part of you becomes your shadow — hiding behind anxiety, people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional shutdowns, or unexplained anger. But when nurtured? The inner child becomes a wellspring of creativity, joy, intimacy, and freedom.

So here’s the real question: When did you last visit your inner child?

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How can you tell if your inner child is wounded?

Let’s get real.

Most adults are walking around with unhealed trauma pretending everything’s fine. But their relationships, self-worth, and even physical health are telling a different story.

Ask yourself:

• Do I feel unworthy no matter how much I achieve?

• Do I struggle with boundaries but fear abandonment?

• Do I overreact emotionally — then feel ashamed?

These are not flaws. They are symptoms of a wounded inner child.

Here are some more specific signs:

• Chronic guilt: You say sorry even when it’s not your fault

• Hyper-independence: You trust no one but yourself

• People-pleasing: You abandon your needs for approval

• Perfectionism: You equate mistakes with shame

• Fear of rejection: You panic at the thought of someone leaving

Wounds from childhood don’t disappear with age. They get buried, only to resurface during:

• Romantic relationships

• Parenting

• Emotional conflicts

• Times of stress or grief

These signs are your inner child’s SOS signal. And the only way to truly grow is to stop ignoring these cries.

💡  If any of this feels familiar, explore this powerful resource: Unhealed Trauma: Is It Holding You Back?

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What simple yet powerful exercises can heal and nurture your inner child?

Healing your inner child doesn’t require a therapist’s couch or a thousand affirmations (though those help too). Sometimes, all it takes is a gentle return — a turning inward. Like visiting an old friend.

Here are a few human and soulful practices to reconnect with your inner child:

🌿 Mirror Work

Look yourself in the eyes. Really look. And say:

• “I see you.”

• “I love you even when you’re scared.”

• “You’re allowed to feel.”

Yes, it might feel awkward. But your inner child has been starving for your own validation. Be the adult they always needed.

✉️ Write a Letter

Address it to “Little Me.” You can begin like this:

“Hey, I know I’ve ignored you for a long time. I’ve been so busy surviving. But I’m here now. And I want to hear your story…”

Let the words pour out. There is no right way to do this. Just honesty.

🎨 Creative Expression

Dance like a maniac in your living room. Paint with your fingers. Build a fort. Watch cartoons. Eat cereal for dinner.

Do the things that remind you that play is a portal to healing.

🧸 Talk to yourself kindly

Try this mantra:

“I am not too much. I was just too little to be held right.”

Healing doesn’t have to be poetic. It has to be real.

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Can stories heal us too? One powerful inner child testimonial

Let me tell you about Priya (name changed for privacy).

She was a client in her 40s — successful on the outside, hollow on the inside. Her marriage was emotionally dry. Her friendships felt one-sided. And no matter how much she gave, she felt like she never got love back.

One session, I asked her, “What did 7-year-old Priya need that she never got?”

She burst into tears.

“Just…someone to notice I was in pain.”

Together, we created a ritual. Every morning, she placed a framed picture of her 7-year-old self on her desk. She’d say:

“I see you. I promise to protect you. I love you.”

After 30 days? Her energy shifted. She laughed more. She cried freely. She set boundaries. Her husband even said, “You feel different — like yourself.”

Stories like these aren’t miracles. They’re what happens when we return home to ourselves.

🔗 For more soulful wisdom on how love truly transforms, read: Secrets of Love

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What role does self-love play in inner child healing?

Let me whisper something to you:

Self-love is not selfish. It’s survival.

When your inner child was hurting, they didn’t need discipline — they needed love. And now? That’s still what they need — from you.

Self-love is re-parenting.

It’s giving yourself the hugs, praise, patience, and presence your parents maybe couldn’t offer.

Here’s how to start:

• Affirmations like “I am safe now” and “I deserve joy”

• Nourishing rituals — good food, sleep, nature, movement

• Boundaries as acts of self-respect

If that feels foreign, here’s a little mantra to hold onto:

“I will not abandon myself again.”

Because every time you ignore your needs, people-please, or stay silent — your inner child watches. And wonders: “Am I not worthy yet?”

But when you choose self-love? You teach that child: We are worth choosing. Always.

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🧠 Interactive Prompt

💬 “When was the last time someone really saw you? Felt you? Understood you?”

Tell us in the comments. Your story might be the mirror someone else needs.

🧠Clearing emotions through the body – Can you really set yourself free From the weight you carry?

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What does your body know that your mind ignores?

Let’s be honest. Most of us live from the neck up, trapped in thoughts, worries, to-do lists. But the body? It’s been quietly holding everything. Every fight you didn’t finish, every “I’m fine” when you were breaking, every suppressed scream… your body kept the receipts.

Somatic healing isn’t just trendy wellness talk. It’s ancient wisdom returning to our fast, disconnected lives. It says: emotions aren't just in your head — they’re stored in your muscles, organs, and nervous system.

Think of emotions like letters that never got mailed. The sadness in your chest? The tight jaw when you're mad? The heavy legs when you're depressed? Those are love notes from your inner world, waiting for you to open them.

Scientific studies confirm this too. According to a 2013 study in the journal PNAS, different emotions are felt in distinct parts of the body. Anger burns in the chest and arms, sadness weighs down the limbs, and joy lights up the entire upper body.

Ready to listen to your body? It's been waiting.

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Where do anger, shame, and fear really live inside you?

Ask yourself this — when you're angry, where do you feel it? Is it in your fists? Your gut? Your throat?

Each emotion has a favourite hiding spot.

• Anger often sits in the jaw, shoulders, fists — ready to fight.

• Fear hides in the belly, tightening the diaphragm, shortening the breath.

• Shame? Oh, that’s sneaky — it crouches in the spine, curling you inward, making you small.

Here’s a trick: next time you're overwhelmed, pause. Don’t name the emotion. Name the location. “I feel heat in my neck.” “There’s a twist in my stomach.” That’s how you start a somatic relationship with your body.

And healing doesn’t happen through just thinking about emotions. You’ve got to move them. You’ve got to feel them, breathe through them, and sometimes even scream them out.

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What weird but powerful somatic practices actually work?

Let’s get messy. Healing isn’t always graceful. Sometimes, it looks like:

• Screaming into a pillow when no one’s home

• Shaking your arms and legs wildly like a cartoon character

• Making strange sounds from your gut that feel ancient

This isn’t nonsense — it’s nervous system reset. These primal tools are rooted in trauma research. Animals do it naturally after escaping danger: they shake. Humans? We suppress.

Here’s a 3-part daily somatic reset ritual:

1. Shake for 90 seconds. Legs, arms, neck — go full weird.

2. Sound it out. Low hum, guttural scream, whisper “I’m safe” till you believe it.

3. Breathe with a pattern: inhale 4 counts, hold 4, exhale 6. Repeat.

Pair this with journaling:

• What emotions visit me most?

• When did I first feel them?

• What does my body want me to know?

Need proof this works? Therapists report reduced anxiety, trauma release, and increased resilience in clients who use these techniques daily. Your body is your oldest therapist — give it space to speak.

🔗 Read this deeper truth in Behind Closed Doors

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How do you know if you’ve truly let it go?

Here’s the hard truth: you don’t always know you’ve released something until you stop reacting the same way. Healing is silent. Sneaky.

You’ll walk into a situation that used to trigger you — and you’ll just… feel peace. That’s how you know the emotion has left the body. You didn’t suppress it. You processed it.

Indicators of real release:

• Less reactivity in old patterns

• Tears that feel relieving, not scary

• Spontaneous body movements (yawning, trembling, sighing)

• Emotional clarity without analysis

But healing isn’t linear. You may feel like you’re back at square one. You’re not. You’re spiralling up through layers, deeper each time. Trust that.

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💬 When was the last time someone really saw you? Felt You? Understood you?

Pause. Don’t scroll past this.

Think: When was the last time someone looked into your eyes and truly saw the child behind them? The soul under the adulting?

When did you last feel someone understand the unsaid parts of you?

You don’t have to answer out loud. Just feel it. Breathe into that ache. That’s your inner child, your wounded emotions, your deepest longing — all whispering, “Don’t leave me behind.”

That’s something-important, isn’t it?

Can you truly set yourself free from the pain buried in your body?

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What does your body know that your mind keeps ignoring?

Let me ask you something personal.

When was the last time you felt a lump in your throat — not from sickness, but from emotion? A tightness in your chest that no doctor could explain? That ache in your lower back… that gets worse when life gets heavy?

Your body is your oldest journal.

It remembers everything — the betrayals you forgave but never healed from, the words you swallowed instead of screamed, the moments you felt unsafe and stayed quiet.

Science has started catching up with what ancient traditions knew all along — unprocessed emotions become trapped in the body. They live in our tissues, muscles, organs. Left unacknowledged, they fester into anxiety, chronic pain, depression, fatigue.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, writes,

“Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past. It is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body.”

When I ask clients how they feel, most answer from the head.

“I think I’m fine.”

But when I say, “Where does your body feel heavy right now?” — they pause. Eyes water. Something real stirs.

So I ask you too: What has your body been trying to say that your mind won’t let you hear?

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Where are your emotions hiding right now — And what are they trying to tell you?

Let’s go deeper.

Emotions don’t float around in the air. They have addresses in your body. You may not even know you’re angry — but your jaw does. You might think you’ve moved on — but your gut knows otherwise.

Here’s a little Emotional Body Map:

Emotion	Where It Hides	What It Feels Like
Anger	Jaw, fists, neck	Tightness, heat, clenching
Fear	Belly, shoulders	Butterflies, knots, freezing
Shame	Chest, spine	Collapsing, shrinking
Grief	Throat, lungs	Heaviness, sobbing urge
Joy	Heart, face	Lightness, tingling, warmth

And here’s the trick: Don’t label the emotion first. Locate it.

Try saying out loud,

“There’s pressure in my chest right now.”

“My shoulders are heavy.”

Then ask:

“Whose voice does that pressure belong to?” 

“What does my body need me to hear?”

This is sacred listening. It’s how we begin to clear what’s been stuck for years.

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What weird-looking but soul-freeing somatic practices actually work?

Sometimes, healing isn’t silent. It’s primal. Raw. Loud.

We were never meant to keep it all in.

Here’s what I recommend — especially when your nervous system is overwhelmed and you’re running on survival mode.

🗣️ Scream into a pillow

Go somewhere private. Grab a thick pillow. And let it out — the pain, the injustice, the “why me?” rage. You’re not crazy. You’re just full.

🌀 Shake it out

Animals do it after trauma — they shake. It discharges fight-or-flight. We humans forgot how to finish what fear started.

Set a timer for 2 minutes. Start with the legs. Let them tremble. Shake your arms. Loosen your jaw. Let the emotion move through.

🎵 Make sounds from the belly

Guttural sounds. Groans. Humming. These activate the vagus nerve, which calms the nervous system. It also gives a voice to the part of you that never got to scream back.

📓 Journal Prompts

• What emotion visits me most often?

• Where in my body does it live?

• What would that emotion say if it could speak?

🔗 For a vulnerable look into what we hide behind performance, visit:

Behind Closed Doors

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Meditation: Can you visualise being fully seen, fully loved?

Let’s do this together. Just you and me. Take a moment — close your eyes.

Visualise your younger self, standing in front of you. Maybe 5. Maybe 9. Maybe curled up in the corner.

Now imagine you — your adult self — kneeling down. You gently take their hands and say:

“You’re safe now. I see all of you. I will never leave again.”

Now breathe.

Breathe light into their heart. Let their fear melt. Picture them smiling again. Being silly. Asking questions. Laughing freely.

This meditation is more than visualisation — it’s remembrance. Of the you before the pain.

Repeat after me:

“I am not broken. I am healing. And I am worthy of love that sees all of me.”

Do this daily. Cry if you must. The tears are the release. This is what hope and healing truly feel like.

When will you stop apologising for feeling so much?

You were never “too sensitive.”

You were attuned in a world that didn’t know how to hold your heart.

The world doesn’t reward emotional depth. It labels it as weakness. But the truth is — those who feel deeply, love boldly, and express freely are the medicine carriers. You are not too much. You were just never met at your depth.

And that brings me to a question that may undo you:

💬 “When was the last time someone really saw you? Felt you? Understood you?”

Not just the version of you that smiles politely.

Not the role you play — parent, partner, provider.

But you. The one with soft edges and tired eyes. The one still hoping someone will say,

“You don’t have to earn love here.”

Tell us in the comments below. Share the moment that broke you. Or the one that mended you. Your story matters more than you know.

🔗 For a powerful exploration of emotional dynamics, read:

Narcissists vs Empaths – Two Paths From the Same Wound

Love without alignment will always break you – are you in love with a person or with a wound?

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What’s the difference between a Trauma Bond and a True soul connection?

Have you ever met someone and felt instantly connected? Like you've known them forever? The chemistry is electric. The pull is magnetic. But months later — you're drained, confused, anxious, and doubting your worth.

That’s not always a soul connection.

Sometimes? That’s a trauma bond.

Trauma bonds form when:

• You feel "at home" in their chaos

• The highs are euphoric, the lows are devastating

• You feel addicted to their approval

• You excuse red flags because “they’ve been through a lot”

You’re not weak. You’re just wounded and trying to love from your scars.

Contrast that with a conscious soul connection:

• You feel safe, even when it’s boring

• There’s emotional honesty, not mind games

• You grow spiritually with them, not shrink for them

• Love doesn’t come at the cost of your peace

Ask yourself this:

“Do I feel anxious with them… or anchored?”

Sometimes, we mistake chaos for passion because chaos is what we grew up with.

🔗 If you’re stuck between strength and self-betrayal, read this truth bomb:

Cutting People Off Isn’t Strength—It’s Survival

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Are you chasing a person — Or are you chasing a wound?

Let’s go deeper.

The heart has memory. It doesn’t just beat — it remembers. That’s why we chase the unavailable. Why we fall for the emotionally distant. Why we keep ending up with the same energy in different bodies.

It’s not because we’re broken. It’s because we’re looping a pattern we don’t even see.

Ask yourself:

• Do I fall harder for people who withhold love?

• Do I feel “alive” only when there’s drama?

• Do I feel addicted to the chase?

If yes, chances are — you're chasing a familiar wound. Not a soulmate.

Healing begins when we stop saying “Why do they keep hurting me?” and start asking “What part of me is still choosing pain over peace?”

Here’s a journaling prompt for you:

“What did love feel like in childhood? Am I trying to recreate that now — or heal it?”

Your healing doesn’t require their closure. It requires your honesty.

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How does relationship energy work — And what’s love got To do with chakras?

Let’s get cosmic and grounded at the same time.

Every relationship is energy. Before the words, before the touch, before the dates — it’s all vibration meeting vibration.

If your root chakra (safety) is closed, you’ll attract unstable love.

If your heart chakra is blocked, you’ll keep finding emotionally unavailable people.

If your throat chakra (expression) is jammed, you’ll never say what you truly feel.

Now add Vastu Shastra to this — the ancient Indian science of space. Your home holds energetic blueprints. Sleeping in the wrong direction, cluttered northeast corners, broken mirrors — all impact your relationship alignment.

That’s why sometimes, after moving houses or redecorating, your love life suddenly shifts. Energy is real.

Want to raise your love frequency?

• Clean your bedroom — it holds emotional residue

• Place a rose quartz crystal near your bed

• Align your furniture to promote intimacy and harmony

🔗 For a powerful Vastu-based guide, check out:

How to Create a High Energy Home That Attracts True Love

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What does Sacred love really look like — And can you handle It?

Let me be honest — most people want love, but aren’t ready for intimacy.

Because sacred love doesn’t just hold you — it sees you. It reflects your shadow, mirrors your wounds, and requires emotional responsibility. It doesn’t tolerate projection, games, or emotional immaturity.

Sacred love is quiet. Soft. Deep. Safe. It doesn’t chase. It invites. It doesn’t test you. It holds space for you to show up as you are.

Here’s what it looks like:

• Someone who hears your “I’m fine” and asks again

• Someone who doesn’t punish your vulnerability

• Someone who loves you in the language your inner child understands

And here’s the key: You attract that kind of love only after you give it to yourself first.

That’s the alignment part.

You must stop performing for love. Stop dimming your light. Stop mistaking chemistry for compatibility.

Love without alignment will break you. But love with alignment? It will build you.

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Would you like help choosing soul-aligned love over emotional patterns?

You’ve made it this far — through pain, truth, tears, and breakthroughs. So let me gently ask:

“Are you ready to stop chasing people who don’t choose you back?”

If your answer is yes — not just from the mind, but from the body, the heart, the soul — then I’d like to offer you something real.

💌 Book a Relationship Healing Session With Me

In this sacred space, we’ll explore:

• Your attachment patterns

• Your relationship energy

• Your Vastu compatibility

Because you don’t need more strategies. You need alignment. And clarity to stop loving from your wounds and start loving from your wholeness.

Click here to book your session.

My vision: To make emotional visibility a spiritual practice.

Why do so many of us feel “invisible” — and can that be healed?

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Why do so many Suffer From Feeling “invisible”?

This is a question that gets to the bone of the human experience. It’s not about popularity, or social media likes, or whether people remember your birthday.

It’s deeper.

It’s the ache of never being felt by another human soul.

It’s the silence after you say, “I’m tired,” and no one asks why.

It’s showing up every day, doing all the things — but never being truly seen.

It’s being in a relationship where they love the idea of you — but not your truth.

Where does this come from?

Childhood. Always.

As children, we were emotionally shaped by those around us. If your pain was dismissed, your excitement ignored, your feelings invalidated — you learned one core lesson:

“My emotions don’t matter. So maybe I don’t either.”

This wound of invisibility doesn’t go away. It grows with you. It becomes:

• That friend who always listens but is never asked how they are.

• That parent who gives endlessly but feels alone in a crowded home.

• That partner who gives more love than they receive — hoping it’ll be enough.

💔 Invisibility is an epidemic. But not because you’re unworthy.

It’s because you were never taught to value your emotional existence.

It wasn’t your fault.

🔗 For a powerful reminder of this truth, read:

Your Childhood Wasn’t Your Fault – Healing Begins Now

And healing? It starts when you stop making yourself smaller to be loved.

Here’s what you can do:

• Start saying “I need” instead of pretending you don’t

• Take up physical space — walk tall, speak louder

• Surround yourself with people who pause when you speak

Invisibility isn’t healed through attention.

It’s healed through emotional recognition. Especially from yourself.

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🌟 You are not too much – You were just never met fully

To you, dear reader — who stayed through every tear, every truth, every soul-cracking moment of this article:

I see you.

I feel your pain.

I believe in your healing.

And if you’ve been waiting for a sign that it’s time to stop betraying yourself for love, stop holding in your emotions, stop shrinking to be accepted — this is it.

You are allowed to be loud. Soft. Messy. Emotional. Needy. Sacred. Whole.

Don’t wait for the world to make you visible.

Make yourself visible — emotionally, energetically, spiritually.

You deserve the kind of love that holds all of you.

And remember:

Something-important is already awakening inside you.

Let it. Please, let it.

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💬 Soul-stirring FAQs about inner child healing, emotions & love

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How do I start healing if I have no idea where to begin?

Start by noticing. Every time you get triggered, ask: What age is reacting right now? Then gently respond to that version of yourself. No tools? Just talk to your inner child like a protective parent would.

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Can I really heal without confronting my past directly?

Yes — healing doesn’t mean reliving trauma. It means learning how it lives in you now and responding differently. You don’t need to remember everything. You just need to honour what’s still present.

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What if I feel selfish choosing myself?

That’s not selfishness. That’s self-reclamation. The version of you that feels guilty for resting, saying no, or asking for help? That’s your wounded inner child speaking. Listen to them — then gently teach them a new truth.

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How can I release anger or shame that’s buried in my body?

Use your body as the release valve. Shake. Scream. Breathe. Cry. Humming, journaling, somatic therapy — all help emotions discharge without re-traumatising you. You are safe to feel now.

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How do I know if a relationship is helping me heal or keeping me stuck?

Ask yourself:

• Do I feel safe being vulnerable?

• Can I express without fear?

• Does this connection feel like oxygen or anxiety?

If it drains more than it nourishes, it’s not love. It’s familiar wounding.

Bonus section 1: What happens when you finally feel seen for who you are?

There is a moment in every healing journey when something shifts quietly but profoundly.

You’re sitting across from someone — maybe a friend, maybe a therapist, maybe a new lover — and you start to speak. Not with logic. Not with performance. But with truth. You say the thing you’ve never said aloud. You expose the soft underbelly of your story.

And they don’t flinch.
They don’t interrupt.
They don’t try to fix you.

Instead, they lean in — not physically, but energetically — and you realise… they get it.

Not because they’ve lived your story. But because they can feel the weight in your words. The years in your silence. The heartbreak in your bravery.

And for the first time in your life, a thought pierces through the fog like light breaking open a locked room in your chest:

“I am not too much. I am not invisible. I am finally… seen.”

When someone sees you like that, without needing you to shrink, simplify, or sugar-coat yourself — something ancient in your body exhales. You realise that the armour you’ve worn all these years was never to protect you from violence — it was to protect you from indifference.

Because here’s the wound no one talks about enough:

We can survive criticism. We can even survive hate.
But what often breaks us… is not being seen at all.

To feel invisible — emotionally, spiritually — is to walk the earth like a ghost. To laugh loudly hoping someone will ask if you're really okay. To offer love like currency, hoping someone will pay attention with their presence.

But when you're finally seen?

• Your nervous system relaxes.

• Your voice deepens with honesty.

• Your energy no longer seeks validation — it expands naturally.

And here’s the best part: this is not a moment you have to wait for from someone else.

You can give it to yourself.

You can become the person who says:

“I see you. I hear you. I know you’ve suffered, but I also see your strength.”

Try this:

• Sit quietly and place a hand over your heart.

• Whisper to yourself, out loud: “I am no longer hiding.”

• Picture your younger self standing tall beside you — seen, held, chosen.

That’s not self-help.
That’s self-recognition — and it is the beginning of your freedom.

🔗 For those carrying generational pain, this link may give you clarity:

Can You Really Inherit A Broken Heart? 

Bonus Section 2: How can rituals Become Healing tools for the inner child?

Let’s be real.

Most of us grew up in homes where emotions weren’t handled — they were hidden. Where joy had a time limit, grief had no room, and anger was either explosive or completely swallowed. We were told to “be good,” “be strong,” “be grateful.” But we were never taught how to feel — or more importantly, how to heal.

And so we grew up surviving.

But now? You’re not just surviving. You’re seeking. And the one thing that helps us feel safe while healing is ritual.

Why ritual?

Because trauma lives in the body as chaos — and ritual is the medicine of rhythm.

Rituals say:

“I will show up for myself every day — even if no one else does.”

They don’t have to be elaborate. They don’t need incense or chanting (though they can). What they do need is consistency, intention, and gentleness.

Let’s create 3 powerful rituals for your inner child:

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🌅 Morning Ritual: “You First”

Before you reach for your phone, before you answer to the world — return to yourself.

• Sit for one minute with your hand over your heart.

• Whisper: “How are you, little one?”

• Listen. Let your inner child speak.

• Then say: “I promise to honour you today.”

Even one minute of this changes your day. You stop chasing validation. You start leading with connection.

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🧼 Midday Ritual: “Body pause”

Set an alarm for once in your afternoon. When it rings:

• Close your eyes. Scan your body. No judgement.

• Ask: “Where am I holding something?”

• Put a hand there. Breathe slowly.

• Then affirm: “You don’t have to carry this alone.”

Your body will learn to trust you again. That’s how safety is re-parented.

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🌙 Night Ritual: “You’re still loved”

No matter how messy the day was, you end it in grace.

• Sit with a journal or just a thought.

• Ask: “Where did I abandon myself today?”

• Then write to your inner child:

“I’m sorry you felt ignored. I see you now. You are always worthy of love.”

This single act, done repeatedly, rewires your nervous system. It replaces shame with softness. Fear with familiarity.

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Rituals may seem small — but for the inner child who lived in neglect, silence, or emotional chaos, these are revolutionary. They say:

“You are worth showing up for. Every. Single. Day.”

Make ritual your religion. Not out of pressure. But out of love.

Because every time you choose a healing practice over a coping mechanism, you send a message through your entire being:

“We are safe now. We are sacred now.”

And maybe — just maybe — your ancestors, watching from wherever souls go, breathe easier too.

Bonus Section 3: Why do empaths keep falling for narcissists — and how can they break the spell?

Let me ask you something raw.

Have you ever loved someone who made you feel like you were constantly failing? Like no matter how much love, patience, or compassion you gave, it was never enough?

You kept giving…
They kept taking…
And somehow, you felt guilty?

Welcome to the heartbreaking dance between an empath and a narcissist — two souls magnetised not by love, but by unhealed pain.

But why does this keep happening?

It begins in childhood.

Empaths are often born in homes where they had to “earn” love — by being quiet, helpful, invisible. They became hyper-attuned to others’ needs because their own weren’t met. They learned to feel everything — except safe.

So when they meet someone emotionally unavailable, intense, or withholding?

They don’t run.
They recognise it.

It feels like home — not because it’s right, but because it’s familiar.

Now enter the narcissist. Not always a villain. Often a wounded soul themselves, using control and manipulation to mask deep shame. But instead of healing, they feed off admiration. They demand loyalty without accountability. They see empathy as weakness — and weaponise it.

To the empath, this dynamic plays out like a mission:

“If I love them enough, they’ll finally feel safe. They’ll finally love me back.”

But healing someone else’s wounds will never heal your own.

---

So how do you break the spell?

You begin by asking:

• Am I in love… or am I in emotional debt?

• Do I feel safe in their presence, or only needed?

• Do I walk on eggshells more than I feel ease?

And then you stop doing what you’ve always done — you stop abandoning yourself.

Here’s what breaking the empath-narcissist trauma bond looks like:

• Saying “no” without explaining

• Choosing solitude over fake connection

• Understanding that someone’s love-bombing isn’t love — it’s control

You heal when you stop making excuses for abuse just because someone is “broken.” You’re not here to fix people. You’re here to love in alignment, not obligation.

Remember this:

Empathy without boundaries is self-destruction.

But empathy with discernment? That’s spiritual power.

And if you’ve been caught in this pattern before — don’t shame yourself. It just means you were wired to feel deeply. Your softness is still sacred. You just need to give it to someone who doesn’t turn your heart into a battlefield.

---

✍️ Tushar Mangl’s Bio

Tushar Mangl is a counselor, Vastu expert, and the author of I Will Do It and Ardika. He writes about food, finance, books, ancient wisdom, mental health, and the sacred art of balanced living. Blogging at tusharmangl.com since 2006.

“I help unseen souls design lives, spaces, and relationships that heal and elevate—through ancient wisdom, energetic alignment, and grounded action.” 

Note: For more inspiring insights, subscribe to the YouTube Channel at Tushar Mangl or follow on Instagram at @TusharMangl

A story for you

Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. Even the plush comfort of the air-conditioned compartment of the

Shatabdi express could not cool his frayed nerves. He was the Project Manager and still not entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought; he had tried to reason with the admin person,

it was the savings in time. As PM, he had so many things to do!!

He opened his case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

'Are you from the software industry sir,' the man beside him was staring appreciatively at the laptop.

Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car. 'You people have brought so much advancement to the country, Sir. Today everything is getting computerized.'

'Thanks,' smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look.

He always found it difficult to resist appreciation. The man was young and well built like a sportsman. He looked simple and strangely out of place in that little lap of luxury like a small town boy in a prep school.

He probably was a railway sportsman making the most of his free traveling pass.

'You people always amaze me,' the man continued, 'You sit in an office and write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside.'

Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naiveness demanded reasoning not anger. 'It is not as simple as that my

friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it.'

For a moment, he was tempted to explain the entire Software Development Lifecycle but restrained himself to a single statement. 'It is complex, very complex.'

'It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid,' came the reply.

This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence crept into his so

far affable, persuasive tone. ' Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in.

Indians have such a narrow concept of hard work. Just

because we sit in an air-conditioned office, does not mean our brows do not sweat. You exercise the muscle; we exercise the mind and believe me that is no less taxing.'

He could see, he had the man where he wanted, and it was time to drive home the point.

'Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from

any of the hundreds of computerized booking centres across the country. Thousands of transactions

accessing a single database, at a time concurrently; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you

understand the complexity in designing and coding such a system?'

The man was awestuck; quite like a child at a planetarium.

This was something big and beyond his imagination. 'You design and code such things.'

'I used to,' Vivek paused for effect, 'but now I am the Project Manager.'

'Oh!' sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, 'so your life is easy now.'

This was like the last straw for Vivek. He retorted, 'Oh come on, does life ever get easy as you go up the

ladder. Responsibility only brings more work. Design

and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am responsible for it and believe me, that

is far more stressful. My job is to get the work done

in time and with the highest quality. To tell you about the pressures, there is the customer at one end, always changing his requirements, the user at the

other, wanting something else, and your boss, always expecting you to have finished it yesterday.'

Vivek paused in his diatribe, his belligerence fading with self-realisation. What he had said, was not

merely the outburst of a wronged man, it was the truth. And one need not get angry while defending the

truth. 'My friend,' he concluded triumphantly, 'you don't know what it is to be in the Line of Fire'.

The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

'I know sir, I know what it is to be in the Line of Fire.' He was staring blankly, as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.

'There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture

Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom. In the morning when we finally hoisted the tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive.'

'You are a...?'

'I am Subedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in Kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a soft assignment. But, tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my

colleagues lay injured in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain sahib refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the safety and welfare of the nation foremost followed by the safety and welfare of the men he commanded........his own personal safety came last, always and every time.'

'He was killed as he shielded and brought that injured soldier into the bunker. Every morning thereafter, as we stood guard, I could see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir....I know, what it is to be in the Line of Fire.'

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of how to respond. Abruptly, he switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a Word document in the presence of a man for whom valour and duty was a daily part of life; valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to epical heroes.

The train slowed down as it pulled into the station, and Subedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight. 'It was nice meeting you sir.'

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand... had climbed mountains, pressed the trigger, and hoisted

the tricolour. Suddenly, as if by impulse, he stood up  at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute. It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS: The incident he narrated during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true-life incident during the Kargil war. Capt. Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight.

For this and various other acts of bravery, he was awarded the Param Vir Chakra (Medal), the nation's highest military award.

Live humbly, there are great people around us.