Skip to main content

Promising PURITY…or is it so?

Virginity Pledges, simply put are promises made by the young people to not indulge in sexual activities till they officially tie the knot. But with statics quoting effectiveness in single digited figures(which btw, are more for the males than females,quite surprisingly), the issue common in so many social movements, raises its head here also, “Do these pledges actually serve any purpose, or are they a mere social movement, hollow in their substance and disciples??”
The general opinion though, supports the latter fact. The concept dates back to 1993, the first one being called “true love awaits”, the name itself explaining its core message. In the past sixteen years, many pledges have been carried out and as many studies about the topic.
Point that comes up is people can’t practically refrain themselves, just because of having made a virginity pledge. Most of them fool themselves, more than the world, by putting up things like denying they had sex, or more funnily, denying they made the pledge in the first place only!!! A major part indulges more in oral and anal sex, having the opinion that they’ll be abiding by the pledge having things this way. But for instance take the statement of the pledge as:
"Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship."
Now pick for instance the future mate, will s/he consider you any more pure and loyal coz you didn’t indulge in vaginal sex before marriage?
Besides some other not so goody-goody results, one is that people who had pledged, take LESSER birth-control measures that the ones who hadn’t!!!
Plan back-firing… eh?
In fact, those who don’t take any formal pledge to refrain from making out, just promising things to themselves stick more to it, than the ones who take a proper pledge.
Though such pledges are most common in the United States, the scenario can be conveniently compared to that in India, as far as the aspect of psychology of teenagers is concerned about abstaining from sex. Though in India the masses are ignorant enough to not talk about sex or anything related to it in public(explains perhaps why there’s no sex education in schools,worsening everything) but the society in general makes one take a virginity pledge,without once pronouncing it. And the results are pretty obvious. Those who want to do it do it and those who don’t want to, don’t do it, Pledge or no pledge.
Still, to save the cause, these vowing programmes should be vigor-ed up, made more active, spent more brains on, for eg. the members as it is said should be a critical number, so that an individual doesn’t feel too insignificant or too out of the crowd, regular meetings and proper counseling of the members about the whys and whats of their cause can do the trick of increasing their effectiveness. To cut the long story short, proper fuel should be kept on adding to the fire, the fire of not being too “ferocious” before marriage!!! - Tamanna K.

Comments

Also read

Sex without intimacy: A Spill the Tea story about modern loneliness

Tara meets someone through a matrimony broker. They quickly decide marriage isn’t on the table, but spend a night together anyway. What follows isn’t regret or drama, but an unsettling emptiness. Over tea and samosas, she tries to understand why physical closeness left her feeling more alone than before. Spill the Tea: When Closeness leaves You Feeling Further away The tea was too sweet. Tara noticed it immediately but didn’t say anything. She sat on the verandah chair, one foot tucked under the other, the plastic creaking every time she shifted. She wore a black cotton top with sleeves pushed to her elbows and denim shorts that left her knees bare to the evening air. She didn’t look uncomfortable. Just slightly unfinished, as if she’d left in a hurry. Between us, a steel plate held two samosas, already cooling. The chutney had begun to darken at the edges. She broke a corner of the samosa. The crust flaked onto her plate. She dipped it into the chutney, carefully. “You know,” she said...

Cutting people off isn’t strength—It is a trauma response

Your ability to cut people off and self-isolate is not a skill you should be proud of—It is a trauma response Cutting people off and self-isolating may feel like a protective shield, but it is often rooted in unresolved or unhealed trauma and an inability to depend on others. While these behaviors seem like self-preservation, they end up reinforcing isolation and blocking meaningful connections. Confronting these patterns, seeking therapy, and nurturing supportive relationships can help break this unhealthy cycle. Plus, a simple act like planting a jasmine plant can symbolise the start of your journey towards emotional healing. Why do we cut people off and isolate? If you’re someone who prides themselves on “cutting people off” or keeping a tight circle, you might believe it’s a skill—a way to protect yourself from betrayal, hurt, or unnecessary drama. I get it. I’ve been there, too. But here’s the thing: this ability to isolate yourself is not as empowering as it may seem. In fact, i...

Does India need communal parties?

I think, it was Tan's post on this blog itself, Republic Day Event, where this question was raised. My answer. YES. we need communal parties even in Independent, Secular India. Now let me take you, back to events before 1947. When India was a colony of the British Empire. The congress party, in its attempt to gain momentum for the independence movement, heavily used Hinduism, an example of which is the famous Ganesh Utsav held in Mumbai every year. Who complains? No one. But at that time, due to various policies of the congress, Muslims started feeling alienated. Jinnah, in these times, got stubborn over the need of Pakistan and he did find a lot of supporters. Congress, up till late 1940's never got bothered by it. And why should we? Who complains? No one. But there were repercussions. The way people were butchered and slaughtered during that brief time when India got partitioned, was even worse than a civil war scenario. All in the name of religion. And there indeed was cr...