Self-mastery: How to respond instead of reacting emotionally
What is the 3-second pause and how can it shift your spirit?
Have you ever found yourself blurting something out in the heat of the moment and instantly regretting it? I’ve been there. Many times. It took me years to realise that between a trigger and a reaction, there exists a tiny, sacred window—the 3-second pause. It sounds ridiculously simple, doesn’t it? Just three seconds. But it’s the difference between emotional chaos and soulful calm.
Here’s the magic of that pause: It’s a spiritual shift. In those three seconds, you're choosing to return to your inner stillness instead of getting swept up in someone else's storm. It's like receiving a spiritual SMS—Soul Message Stop—inviting you to check in with your higher self before responding.
Studies in behavioural psychology suggest that even a few seconds of intentional breathing can deactivate your amygdala—the brain’s panic button—and bring the prefrontal cortex, your logical brain, back online. This is transformation. Think of it as divine buffering time. Use it wisely.
Try this: next time you're triggered, put your hand on your chest, close your eyes for three seconds, and silently say, “I choose peace.” You’ll be surprised at how the heat of the moment cools down with a little spiritual air conditioning.
How do you recognize emotional triggers in your body?
Ever noticed your chest tightening before you even realise you’re angry? Or your shoulders creeping up to your ears when you’re anxious? That’s your body trying to whisper truths your mind hasn’t caught up to yet.
One of the most underrated tools in emotional mastery is somatic awareness—understanding where you feel emotions in your body. This is backed by neuroscience. Emotions are bodily experiences before they’re thoughts. They start as sensations. You’re not just thinking anger—you’re feeling it in your gut, jaw, or fists.
Here’s how I tuned in: I started asking myself, “Where do I feel this?” every time something triggered me. Over time, I realised my stress lived in my back, my fear in my belly, and my grief behind my eyes. That awareness helped me stop blaming others for what was happening within me.
A great exercise? Body scans. Close your eyes and mentally scan from your head to your toes. Is your jaw clenched? Is your heart racing? That’s the starting point of your healing. Recognising the trigger is half the battle. Responding instead of reacting? That’s the victory.
If boundaries are something you're navigating in this process of self-awareness, I highly recommend reading more on love and boundaries, a beautifully written guide that helps you balance compassion with self-respect.
Why should you use breath instead of blame?
Let’s be honest—we’ve all pointed fingers. “They made me mad.” “It’s her fault I feel like this.” But here’s a soul-shaking truth: no one can make you feel anything. Your reactions? They’re yours. And so is your breath.
When blame rises, take a breath. Why? Because your breath is your most powerful emotional reset button. You don’t need sage, incense, or a mountaintop guru. Just inhale… and exhale. That breath is the spiritual pause button you need.
The ancient yogis weren’t joking when they said, “Breath is life.” When you breathe deeply and consciously, you switch on your parasympathetic nervous system—the part that tells your body, “You’re safe. You’re okay. You’re in control.” This instantly reduces the cortisol surging through your bloodstream during stress.
Here's something I do: when I feel that knee-jerk blame response rising, I breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and exhale for 8. I do this three times. It sounds silly until it works—and it always does.
So next time someone cuts you off in traffic or says something hurtful, skip the blame game. Use your breath to anchor yourself back into presence. That, my friend, is spiritual maturity.
How can the affirmation “My peace is power” transform you?
I used to think peace meant being passive. That if I stayed silent or didn’t “fight back,” I was somehow weak. But then life showed me something radically different: peace is not the absence of power—it is power.
Saying the affirmation, “My peace is power,” is like putting on invisible armour. It shields you not by fighting, but by not letting energy thieves touch you in the first place. Say it aloud right now. Feel it. “My peace is power.” It hits different, doesn’t it?
When I started integrating this affirmation into my daily routine, especially during difficult conversations or tense environments, I found I didn’t need to raise my voice or prove my point. I became immovable. Not frozen, but grounded. And guess what? People noticed. They started treating me differently—not because I changed them, but because I changed me.
I encourage you to place this affirmation on your mirror, in your phone's wallpaper, or whispered during meditation. Let it become your mantra when the world goes noisy. Let your peace shout louder than their chaos.
What’s the difference between responding and reacting?
Imagine this: someone throws a hot coal at you. You can catch it (react) and burn your hands. Or you can let it fall and cool before deciding what to do with it (respond). That’s the essence of reaction versus response.
Reactions are instant, impulsive, and often come from old wounds. Responses, on the other hand, are thoughtful, grounded, and rooted in presence. When you react, you’re operating from past pain. When you respond, you’re rooted in your current power.
Let me tell you about a time I reacted—I lashed out at a friend for being late because, deep down, I was reliving childhood abandonment. It wasn’t about them at all. But the next time it happened, I paused, breathed, and chose a different path. I said, “I value our time, and I felt disrespected. Can we talk about this?” That moment healed more than just our friendship—it healed a piece of my inner child.
To truly embody response over reaction, you must understand this: your power is in your pause. Reacting makes you a puppet. Responding makes you the puppeteer.
🌿 5 Signs you are carrying energy blocks—and how to release them
What are energy blocks?
Ever feel like you're doing everything right, yet something invisible keeps pulling you backward—like you're trying to run through thick mud? That’s what carrying energy blocks feels like. You can’t always see them, but you sure as hell feel them. They weigh down your joy, dim your clarity, and keep you stuck in loops that feel eerily familiar.
So, what are energy blocks? Think of them as emotional or spiritual clutter. They’re unresolved feelings, old traumas, or even negative patterns that get trapped in your energy field. Like a clogged pipe, they stop your life force from flowing freely. No matter how many goals you set, those blocks keep you circling the same old mountain.
HeartMath Institute’s research shows how emotions affect our body’s energetic field. And when your energy is blocked? It affects your physical health, relationships, and sense of purpose.
You deserve to live with lightness, flow, and clarity. So, if you’ve been feeling like your sunny days are getting fewer and far between, you might want to consider what’s really clogging your energetic skies. Here's something warm and inspiring to start that reflection: read about the soul-soothing effect of sunny days—sometimes, a little light is all you need to see what’s been hiding in the dark.
How does persistent fatigue signal an energy block?
Let me ask you something personal: Are you always tired, even after a full night's sleep? Do you feel like your body's running on 2% battery by lunchtime? If so, your soul might be waving a white flag, begging you to pay attention.
Fatigue isn’t just physical—often, it’s energetic. Think of your body as a phone. If you’ve got 20 apps running in the background—old grudges, people-pleasing habits, unprocessed grief—no wonder your system crashes by noon. Persistent fatigue is one of the loudest cries that you're holding on to emotional gunk that your body can't digest.
I had a client—let's call her Anika—who came to me saying she felt “dead inside.” Doctors said she was fine. Her blood work was perfect. But she felt exhausted all the time. When we worked through her suppressed anger from childhood, her energy literally returned. Within a week, she looked brighter, lighter, more alive. Why? Because her life force wasn’t being drained by suppressed pain anymore.
Here's a journal prompt: "What am I carrying that’s no longer mine to hold?" Let your pen tell you. Don’t censor it. Your body knows what your mind refuses to admit.
Healing isn’t always about doing more. Sometimes, it’s about releasing what’s been silently draining you all along.
Are repeating patterns a sign of stuck energy?
Are you tired of dating the same type of person with a different face? Or falling into the same argument in every relationship, job, or family setting? It’s not bad luck. It’s an energy loop.
Repeating patterns are like spiritual alarm clocks. They keep ringing until you wake up. If you keep finding yourself in familiar pain, chances are you’ve got stuck energy playing out like a broken record. These patterns often stem from unresolved emotional charges in your energy field.
Here’s something vulnerable—I used to sabotage every friendship that got too close. I didn’t understand why until I dug deep and uncovered a childhood belief: “If people get close, they’ll hurt you.” That unhealed wound kept me stuck in a pattern until I cleared it with inner work.
Want to test this for yourself? Think of the top 3 areas in your life where you feel stuck. Write down what keeps happening. Then ask, “What old story is driving this pattern?” You'll often find the same belief hiding behind it all.
Healing starts when you spot the loop—and choose to step out of it.
What simple rituals can help clear energy blocks?
Clearing energy blocks doesn’t have to be complicated. No, you don’t need a guru, a Himalayan retreat, or a moon ceremony in the jungle. You just need intention—and a few soul-nourishing tools.
Here are three powerful, simple rituals you can do today:
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Salt baths – Water is healing. Salt is purifying. Combine both, and you’ve got yourself an energetic cleanse. Add a handful of sea salt or Himalayan salt to your bath and soak for 20 minutes. Visualise all your stress dissolving into the water. Bonus: add lavender or eucalyptus oil for added calm.
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Journaling – Don’t underestimate the power of pen and paper. Start with this prompt: “What emotions have I been avoiding?” Write without editing. Let your subconscious speak. Sometimes, what you don’t say out loud is what you need to hear most.
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Affirmations – Words shape energy. Start each day saying: “I am safe to release what no longer serves me. I choose peace, power, and flow.” Say it in the mirror. Say it until you believe it. It might feel silly—but it works.
These rituals aren’t just spiritual fluff—they’re emotional plumbing. They help you let go of the old so you can make space for what’s waiting to flow in.
Can you share a personal story of releasing energy blocks?
A few years ago, Chinari was stuck. Not stuck as in bored. Stuck as in her soul felt… muffled. She was constantly anxious. Every decision felt like dragging a mountain uphill. And she couldn’t figure out why.
She took a break, disconnected, and just sat with herself. That’s when it hit her: She’d never grieved her grandfather. He had passed suddenly, and she jumped back into life as if nothing had happened. But grief doesn’t vanish—it hides. And it waits. Until you have no choice but to face it.
So, she wrote him a letter. she lit a candle. she cried, no—she howled. And when she was done, something shifted. It was like a valve was opened inside. The heaviness lifted. The anxiety eased. Her energy began to return.
That’s when she realised: the energy block was unexpressed emotion, stuck in her heart like an unwritten goodbye.
Your healing won’t look like hers. But I promise, when you allow yourself to release the emotions you've buried, your soul will breathe again. And trust me, there’s no better feeling than being able to fully exhale.
⚡Your energy audit: What’s draining you (And what’s been waiting to empower you)?
How do people, places, and decisions leak Your energy?
Not everything that takes your time deserves your energy—and yet, we’re constantly offering our sacred vitality to people, places, and choices that slowly nibble away at our spirit like silent termites.
Have you ever talked to someone and, by the end of the conversation, felt utterly deflated—even if nothing major was said? That’s no coincidence. That’s an energy leak.
Energy leaks are invisible, but their effects are unmistakable: burnout, confusion, irritability, procrastination, even physical ailments. Your energy is your most valuable currency—and too many of us are bleeding it out without even realising it.
A client of mine once shared how visiting her parents' home left her feeling like she’d aged ten years in two hours. Why? Because the space was thick with unspoken resentment and expectation. That space hadn’t changed in decades—and neither had the dynamics. Her energy leaked there because she hadn’t set boundaries, emotionally or energetically.
It’s the same with half-hearted commitments, unresolved relationships, even old decisions that don’t align anymore. Every time you say “yes” when you want to say “no,” or stay silent when your truth burns inside you, your energy slips away drop by drop.
Ask yourself: "Who or what drains me the most—and why do I keep allowing it?" This one question can shake the foundations of your false peace.
For a beautiful reminder of what aligned, expansive energy feels like, take a moment to reflect on the simple bliss described in this piece on euphoria. Sometimes we need to remember what feeling good actually feels like—so we know what to fight for again.
What questions should you ask to identify energy leaks?
Let’s make this interactive. Grab a notebook—or open a blank note on your phone. I want you to run a quick personal energy audit. Just like you’d check your finances or calories, your energy deserves tracking too.
Ask yourself:
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“What am I tolerating that I wouldn’t accept from someone else?”
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“What activities leave me feeling drained, and which light me up?”
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“Where in my life do I feel stuck, resentful, or obligated?”
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“Who drains my energy—even if they don’t mean to?”
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“What outdated dreams or goals no longer belong to me?”
These questions aren’t meant to guilt you—they’re meant to free you. You’d be amazed how many people feel exhausted not because they’re doing too much, but because they’re doing too many things that aren't aligned.
Let’s look at real life for a second. One woman I know, a schoolteacher and devoted mother, realised during this self-audit that volunteering every weekend wasn’t feeding her soul anymore—it was depleting it. The cause was noble, but the impact? Draining. The solution? She replaced two volunteer weekends a month with creative solitude—painting, something she hadn’t done in 15 years. Her family noticed the change immediately.
The takeaway? Alignment trumps obligation. Your energy is your truth-teller. And the moment you start honouring that inner whisper over external noise, everything changes.
What are the three types of energy leaks?
Not all energy leaks are created equal. To really patch them up, you’ve got to know what kind you’re dealing with. Let’s break down the big three:
1. Energetic leaks
These are subtle but powerful. Think: constant phone notifications, lack of alone time, too much screen exposure, or even following accounts that trigger insecurity. Energetic leaks chip away at your peace without you realising it—like death by a thousand pings.
Patch it with: Digital detoxes. Daily solitude. Following what inspires, muting what doesn’t.
2. Emotional leaks
These run deep. Suppressed grief. Unresolved conflicts. Lingering resentment. Guilt. Every unprocessed emotion takes up spiritual bandwidth. You can fake a smile, but your energy doesn’t lie.
Patch It with: Emotional expression. Therapy. Writing unsent letters. Screaming into pillows (yes, really).
3. Environmental leaks
Your space is your sanctuary—or it should be. If you’re surrounded by clutter, chaos, or spaces that hold painful memories, your energy will reflect that tension. Think of your home as an energetic sponge—it absorbs everything.
Patch it with: Decluttering. Feng Shui or Vastu adjustments. Sacred corners. Cleansing rituals.
The next time you’re feeling low, don’t just ask, “What’s wrong with me?” Instead ask, “Where am I leaking?”
Your leaks are not your fault—but they are your responsibility.
How can a candle ritual help release energy leaks?
Ritual is where intention meets action. And sometimes, all it takes is a candle and a quiet moment to begin again.
Here’s a simple yet powerful ritual to help you release five energy leaks that have been haunting your spirit:
🕯 You’ll need:
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A quiet space
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One candle
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Paper and pen
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A bowl of water or a fire-safe container
🔥 Steps:
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Light the candle. Let its flame represent clarity, presence, and your inner light.
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Write down five things that are draining you. People. Habits. Fears. Anything.
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Hold each paper strip and say aloud: “I release this from my energy field. I honour what it taught me, but I choose peace now.”
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Burn or soak the paper in water. Let it symbolise the release.
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Close with this affirmation: “I call back my power. My energy is mine to protect and direct.”
This is energetic closure. One person I know did this every full moon for three months, and in that time, released a toxic relationship, a job she hated, and her chronic headaches. And her glow-up? Undeniable.
Try it. Let this act be your line in the sand. You don’t need to hold on anymore.
Why should you book a paid consultation for deeper healing?
Look, free content is great—this article is packed with tools. But there comes a point when DIY healing only takes you so far. Sometimes, you need a guide. Not because you’re broken, but because you’re ready.
A paid consultation is a declaration. It says, “I value my energy enough to invest in it.” Whether it’s with a healer, therapist, or spiritual mentor, the depth and specificity you get in a one-on-one space can catapult your growth.
Imagine someone looking at your life and reflecting back the energy leaks, blind spots, and gifts you can’t see on your own. That clarity? Priceless.
So if your spirit has been whispering that you’re ready for more, listen to it. Take that step. Book the consultation. Honour the whisper. Because aligned guidance could be the very thing standing between you and your next breakthrough.
💬Are you ready to spiritually SMS yourself back to wholeness?
So here we are. After exploring the 3-second pause that can shift your entire state, recognising where in your body you carry emotions, releasing buried energy blocks, and auditing everything that's leaking your spirit—what now?
Most people will keep rushing through life like they’re late for a meeting with destiny. But not you. You paused. You asked the hard questions. And if you're still reading, it means your soul is whispering something crucial: It’s time to respond to life instead of reacting.
Spiritual self-mastery isn’t about perfection. It’s not about “fixing” yourself. It’s about becoming so aligned, so clear, so powerfully you, that nothing outside you gets to control your inside anymore.
Here’s your invitation—to pause, breathe, reset, and SMS your soul. Let that message be this: “I am ready. Ready to reclaim my energy. Ready to stop leaking my power. Ready to be the me I was born to be.”
Remember: as you walk this path of mastery, you’re not walking alone. You’re walking with every person who’s ever said “enough,” and decided to choose themselves instead.
For the young adults just starting this journey—your energy matters, too. Especially as you step into a world with noise, expectations, and identity crises. Read this gentle insight into welcoming adulthood with love—a reminder that you’re not lost; you’re just being reborn.
This isn’t the end. This is your new beginning.
📌 FAQs
What does “SMS” mean in the context of this article?
Can clearing energy blocks really affect physical health?
Are these techniques religious or spiritual?
How often should I do an energy audit?
How do I know I’m making progress in my healing journey?
Tushar Mangl is a counsellor, Vastu expert, and author of I Will Do It and Ardika. He writes about food, books, personal finance, investments, mental health, Vastu, and the art of living a balanced life.
“I help unseen souls design lives, spaces, and relationships that heal and elevate—through ancient wisdom, energetic alignment, and grounded action.”
Note: For more inspiring insights, subscribe to the YouTube Channel at Tushar Mangl or follow on Instagram at TusharMangl
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