World..through my eyes...

4:59:00 PM

I am just Seventeen. An adolescent. I do not wish to grow up faster and be an adult. My parents do!! My teachers want me to grow up even faster, finish my studies and earn for myself. My parents want me to be successful. Every parent wants that for the child. My elder brother wants me to be a better human being than him. My friends want me to accompany them in every other get-together! My boyfriend wants me to call him everyday and spend more time with him. What do I want?? What are my expectations from myself?? Do I exist only to live for people who care about me??

As I logged in to my dashboard, I was clear, I had to post in Jagruti. But what I'm going to write about was still doubtful!! So I played some songs, sipped through my flavored hot milk and recalled whatever I did at school today!! I am not any other adolescent trying to prove her point in a public forum, that teenagers are not understood by anyone. Well, I disagree with that. My mom understands me, so does my brother and father. My friends sometimes fail to do so. But almost everyone understands me fairly well. My point of concern here is that we are being pressurized so much, by everyone. And everyone includes ourselves as well. I still have a long long way to go to understand the complexities of life. I'm not unaware of the cut-throat competition I'll be facing once I pass out of my class twelve. Neither do I not know how difficult it is to maintain your standards. There still lies a huge BUT!!

The first period started with Accountancy. The teacher screamed at the top of his voice. He wanted to check the ten questions he gave as homework from the chapter financial statements, with adjustments (and it is difficult). Those who hadn't done it (count me out) were scolded pretty badly. He then started his immortal lecture on "balance between studies and activities". I still think about his contradicting statement. He said, "You people are studying in DPS, you have to take part in activities. It helps in your holistic development. But, you should not neglect studies. " What I found contradicting here was that on one hand he is ordering us to take part in school activities and on the other hand, he is scolding us for not doing the homework. How the hell will we do it we have to be present even on Saturdays and Sundays, just because we accidentally took part in the ballet!! I was only listening to him.

I feel that not only the school and parents are responsible for adolescents feeling pressurized, it is teenagers themselves. If you know you cannot handle multi-tasking at school, what's the bloody point in participating in possibly everything?? Valid question!! I have the answer.
Class eleven is almost ending and I took part in uncountable things. My studies were affected, big time. Partly due to school participation and partly due to some unavoidable reasons, personally. I very well knew I wouldn't be able to handle so much stress...If I had debate this Friday, then I had declamation competition on Thursday and even had MUN on the weekend. I, then had to prepare the compere for the valedictory function. I had to speak in the Drug Sensitization workshop. All of this happened in a span of two continuous months. Two months before my half-yearly exams. The result was the lowest in my life. Mom was upset, dad was worried, bro was angry!! All of them told me to learn time management and what not. I did not participate in a few things here and there. And then, suddenly, I get the news of this chic trying to over power me by taking parts in dramas and street plays and what not. I was tensed. Very tensed. I had working my ass off all through the year to become the next head girl. And this chic, by taking part in one drama over powers my presence. Two words...It Sucks!!

Isn't this pressure?? Why do I want to be a head girl?? Why in this world, do I need to be a leader?? Why not?? Aren't we taught to lead the way?? Aren't we taught that we should always look and walk ahead?? Then, why these questions?? My mom once told me that she was the head girl in her school and also that she sees her reflection in me!! Isn't that reason enough for me to prove her right?? And, at the end of the day, we are still being judged on the number of "A" grades on our report cards.

I'm not Aamir Khan and I don't intend to make another Taare Zameen Par. But it is a fact, till we don't achieve something that is acceptable by the so-called "Gods" of our society, we'd be pressurized. Be it at school, college, job or even Roadies!! We have to prove our existence. Why?? Isn't it said..those who are great, need not prove it...Nope!! That's not acceptable. If you're good enough, prove it!!

If today I'm writing to feel "un-pressurized", it is my way of de-stressing myself. But while I'm writing, all goes in my mind is that I have to prepare for the exchange program, have to do my homework, prepare my dance routine and cook dinner. And mind it, that's a 17 year old speaking!!

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