Punjab Assembly Poll - Your vote now has a price tag - A SmartPhone with free calling

6:00:00 AM

It is quite confusing these days, whom to vote for. Each candidate seems promising enough to bring doom to the land you love. You can't expect any political party to take an honest stand anymore. In his budget speech, the finance minister said India and banks have benefitted a lot due to demonetization. Then he went ahead and gifted 10,000 crores of taxpayer money to banks to have a little extra to have fun with. No one gives a shit to the little man on the street. We, people, are here to slog so that the high-level people can enjoy their lives.



So, it would not shock you that your humble writer has been assured a mobile phone, a smart phone with free calling if I vote for a certain party. In all these years of my voting life, no one has offered me the whiskey bottles and the blankets. Those are only meant for poor voters I am told. You can afford your own whiskey. We salaried class people are mostly offered assurances that we would be taxed more, burdened with more legislations and absurd laws and are promised that the color of red tape would be darkened again.

Not this party. These are inclusive people.The political party is also very efficient. They registered me for the freebie even without informing me. I didn't even have any knowledge such a scheme existed. And they are such nice people that they even sent me an email to confirm this. Just in case you thought that they might turn dishonest.With codes and proper documentations. They have asked me

"Congratulations Tushar,

You have successfully registered for your smartphone under Captain Smart Connect Scheme.Your unique code is ___________
You will be required to furnish this receipt with the code as well as a valid ID card at the time of claiming your phone." How so thorough. Maybe I should ask EC to give me a receipt that I indeed voted for these people. Just to make my file good. You will notice I didn't mention the code here. I love my readers as much as they love me. But I am not sharing my smartphone with anyone. Sorry guys.

The Election Commission of India has no problem with this. Probably good for the society, if everyone of us has a smartphone. I think they should have intervened. Made sure that the quality of the phone is good. I don't want a cheap brand one. At least the EC should make sure I get a Xioami or Huawei. I know Apple or that Pixel phone would be tough. EC people are very big on ethics.

It all hinges now on that party to win. I will have to coax several others to vote to get the smartphone. Knowing the brand might have helped. Color too. I know they won't distribute saffron or blue (they being colors associated with the other contending political parties), but I want a Gold or White color. Perhaps, these nice people will give me a color of my choice. We are patriotic Indians. We should negotiate even during selling off our votes. Parents would be so proud.

But I don't know. I mean, prostituting your vote? Is it right? It sounds cheap. Wait. It says here, I will get 1 year 3G Data free too. Wow! This makes decision making so simple. 

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